Divine Timing

Earlier today, a black man dressed in all dark colors, carrying a baton like a sword, accosted me and another woman. I was walking to the local cafe proudly carrying my laptop & The Artist's Way in my tote.

It has been a very rough week, which began with me unexpectedly assisting a mother in labor on Monday, and  fumbling through a big audition on Tuesday.  Actually, this wave of bat-shit sorrow began on Sept 1st (after a fantastic shoot) when I received terrible news about my niece.  I've been forced, yet again, to peel the scab off of familial wounds. Like us, they need air & water to heal.

My prayers to God have mostly been in silence...but he & she knows All.  I am covered.

Today, on a balmy Friday in L.A., I made the decision to get up & stay up. I painted my lips, slicked my hair back, put on a pair of my favorite  jeans & proceeded to face my fears. Chin up, heart open—
I was finally ready to get back to work.  My plan was to spend a few hours writing... BUT I was interrupted, but some crazy ass man....who moved like he was being haunted by mice on wheels,

"Give me ten minutes" he said as he pointed his baton...

"Give me ten minutes."

I remember seeing him dart suspiciously from a building and  I slowed my pace, so that I would't be caught from behind. Somehow, I ended up trailing him and he stopped in the middle of a usually poppin, but barren block, and turned around like he was heeding the call from a city of disturbed vagabonds. Dressed for war, he moved toward me and the young Asian woman who was getting into her car to leave.

My divine instincts kicked in. I maneuvered. Made my way to the street. By this time, he was at her window asking for ten minutes.

What in the hell did he need with ten minutes?!

Her  window didn't budge and neither did she--until, he turned toward me, hands holding a baton like LAPD in 1991. I gently knocked on her window and like the angel who always finds me, she unlocked the door, let me in,  and drove me home.

I wanted to tell her about the countless Black men who are good, righteous, and make me feel safe and loved most of the time... but I don't have to be their advocate today. Some clowns don't deserve to be praised.

I am so grateful. I accidentally stumbled on my old Blog today! I haven't written a post in over three years, but this time, it only took about ten minutes for me to feel right at home.

Wisdom

A friend sent this to me this morning. I am not sure who wrote it, but it's full of great quotes. Enjoy.  

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER  Take two minutes to read these sayings and be sure to read all the way to the bottom:   Written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words.  Rooney used to be on 60 Minutes TV show.   I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.   I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.   I've learned .... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.   I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.   I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.   I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.   I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in any other way.   I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.   I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.   I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.   I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.   I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.   I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.   I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.   I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.   I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.   I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.   I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.   I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.   I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.   I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.   I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.   I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.   I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.   I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.   I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.   I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.   I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you're hooked for life.   I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.   I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.   To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.   It's National Friendship Week.Show your friends how much you care.   Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.   If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.   HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!   YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!   Now send this to every friend you have! And to your family.

Treat yourself to some Therapy.

I did.
& i ain't crazy either.

Dear Sisters,

Too many of us are walking around wearing a mask. We don't give ourselves permission to be human  and we don't think that we can be "Strong" and vulnerable. But we can. We have the right to not have it together ALL THE TIME.  Gurl, give yourself a break. The more you do that, the less likely you'll be breaking down or going off!

Why are you carrying all of that shit? You don't have to. Yes, prayer helps. Going to church on Sunday helps, but you don't have to suffer Monday-Saturday unless you want to. I have come to the conclusion that so many of us are addicted to the pain. We crave the drama and negativity because it's been a guest in our homes & communities for a very long time.

Grief is another beast. When you lose someone close to you, it's perfectly normal to feel all of your losses and traumas at once.  I recently loss my grandmother and it has triggered a flood of emotions.

Now I am someone who usually "has it together." I am often giving advice and 'inspiring folks' with feel good speeches and my usual and sincere optimism. But there are days where my human self shows out! In the midst of my wonderful life, I sometimes feel overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, irritable, defeated, confused, and HANGRY :)

Fortunately, I know how to call on Jesus and/or go on youtube and play anything by The Clark Sisters.  I also know how to call on my ancestors and a good therapist. It's part of my self care.  It is just as important as going to the spa. Do your research. Find a licensed professional that you can vibe and be honest with. But know that just like going to a beauty shop, you can't sit in everybody's chair.

Keep doing your inner work sis. Trust that this too shall pass (for real) & remember that it really doesn't have to be so hard.

I love you.

Music For The Soul.

Love. 

Love Letters, Day 3

Over a year ago, I decided to write myself a love letter for 32 days straight. 3 journals later, I am still writing...

When was the last time you told yourself, "I love you" and meant it? Although it's wonderful to hear those words and feel loved by someone else, it's equally important to affirm yourself.

But don't confuse self love with arrogance or your ego.  That's false. When you really get to the truth of who you are---a powerful and divine being, it becomes easier to love on many different levels.

Pocket full of wisdom. Day 2

hey gurl.

As you stretch into this month, I'd like to offer you some of my favorite quotes & mantras that are sure to help you along the way! Feel free to write 'em down, tape them to your mirror, share with a friend, and/or on social media, or create your own list.

Don't accept shit for change.

-My grandma, Willie D.

Everything you need is in your bones.

-Mama Nayo

Respect is just a minimum

-Lauryn Hill

I am safe. I am loved. I am free.

Write what should not be forgotten.

-Isabel Allende

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind. 

2 Timothy 1:7

You better think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me.

-Aretha Franklin

Those that don't got it, can't show it. Those that got it, can't hide it. 

-Zora Neale Hurston

Come harder. This won't be easy. Don't doubt yourself, trust me you need me.

-Beyonce

I am healthy, happy, whole, in body mind and soul.

-DMC

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. 

February Sugah: 29 Days of Black Love, #1

Hey brilliant reflection of God!
Happy 2016.
How are you feeling?
How are you living?
Are you snoring or are you roaring?

For the entire month of February, I am going to offer you daily treats that are very black and lovely. It is, after all, 
Black History Month & The month of Looooove. 

I am going to share information about some of my favorite people, places, things and experiences. I might even include an interview or two. The Pecola Project is evolving. So am I.  So are you. So are we. Despite the depressing news that's constantly being reported about us,  I still believe that we hold up the sun and light up the world. 


#1  WATCH this fabulous discussion with Iyanla which is all about getting unstuck.  

'cause honey chile. You can't BE FLY & stuck.

(i think i'm pretty witty at times.:)